30 thoughts on “Emily Wills Nude & Sexy (94 Photos)

    1. Spankmaster

      I agree entirely, Jeremy. In fact, I’ll even help, as I will put my rectal zygmoidascope to good use here. Just one question: do you or I get sloppy seconds? I only ask because in regards to my last vestiges of decency, I’d like to know what’s more gentlemanly. They never taught me this at finishing school…

      Reply
      1. Jeremy Fucking Clarkson

        Excellent, Spanky, keep up the good work.

        The answer to your question – we get Richard or James involved too and make her airtight, so everyone’s happy! One orifice each!

        Reply
        1. Spankmaster

          It’s nice to know that my talents are finally and fully appreciated by such deserving and distinguished people. Please keep her warm for me Jeremy and I’ll happily follow your lead with both rectal zygmoidascope and snorkel in tow. At some point, we must all come up for air…

          Reply
          1. James Fucking May

            Good point Matt. I was wondering, when Jeremy suggested that he, myself, Spanky and Hammond make her airtight, where the ‘forth hole’ was. I put it down to it being Hammond’s anus being used to entertain the truckers while they watched the three of us ‘at work’.

            I think good manners require that JC clarify this point for you.

            PS. just so you know, he is writing an autobiography entitled ‘In search of the forth hole- beyond the anus’ !

        2. James Fucking May

          Hey JC, I think we owe Spanky a huge vote of thanks for his rectal zygmoidascope. We were just amateurs groping around the anus exterior. Spanky has literally ‘OPENED UP’ a whole new vista (anus).

          Both I and Hammond love a bit of team work and are happy to plug any available hole. That takes me back to your very first date with Mrs C, when me, Hammond and you had her ‘airtight’ in the lorry stop car park.

          And Spanky, I fear you will be following more than Jeremy’s lead. Looking in my ‘Gentleman’s guide to penetration’ its done alphabetically – Clarkson, Hammond, May and last is Spanky. That is unless its anal penetration when the order is reversed.

          I picked that last bit of information up off Hammond who is surprisingly well versed in the etiquette of anal penetration !!!

          Reply
          1. Jeremy Fucking Clarkson

            I have a real soft spot for Spanky (so does Mrs C but hers is literal) – he’s cool. His probe has certainly shortened the gape time for Mrs C – she was dilated to 6cm within 5 mins last night as opposed to her usual 20mins.

            It’s going to take a little time to teach him all the etiquette involved with being part of the Top Gear team – like which of Mrs C’s orifices to penetrate first, what to do when Hamster accidentally puts his tinkle in your bum, and who ejaculates first and where.

            Big learning curve. But worth it!

          2. James Fucking May

            I think Spanky must be aware of the first rule of Clarkson penetration – Its mouth, pussy, mouth, pussy, anus (wash cock) pussy, jizz on anus.

            As for Mrs C’s dilation, its a good effort JC, but really, I had you up there with the big boys, and so does Spanky. 6cm, its not even double figure JC. Don’t be put to shame by Hammond !!

          3. Spankmaster

            Jeremy and James, it’s so nice to get such professionalism and excellence on gutter perversions these days. I had thought that such depravity had died out with Maquis De Sade, but obviously and thankfully, I was wrong. Just so you know, I will now wield my rectal zygmoidascope and snorkel as my personal Excaliburs, knowing that only the truly worthy and desirable rectums and cervixes will get the perverted attention they deserve. Just allow me the privilege of having Mrs C. as a fluffer and the honour of continuing to debase myself for the greater good of our bedroom peering community…

  1. Spankmaster

    Clearly -and very thankfully -no relation to Bruce Willis or Demi Moore. Besides, her tits look real and are extremely fantastic, which they are good enough for me to fuck severely. Grrrrr. So stand back please, we have lift off…

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *